20 sure-fire tips to make your child fat

20 sure-fire tips to make your child fat

This is a list I came up with, in no particular order, of some of the top ways to make your child obese. I’m not claiming this list is comprehensive, but I feel if you follow some of these strategies you should see significant weight gain in your children.

  1. Remember, your child knows more about health and nutrition than you do, be sure to always let him call all of the dietary shots. Allow your child to pick his own food. Make him whatever he asks for.
  2. Fix special meals for your children because “they won’t eat the normal ‘gown up’ food”
  3. Proclaim that your kid can not have fast food, and eat McDonald’s in front of him/her at least once per week
  4. Don’t let your children help prepare meals. Make sure you dumb down their eating experience as much as possible.
  5. Children are always growing! If they aren’t hungry make sure to force them to have extra servings so that you can feed that growth spurt. You know better than a child how much it takes to make them feel full.
  6. Your child is a “picky” eater, therefore it is OK to always feed them chicken fingers.
  7. Never serve vegetables in their natural state. Your children will be disgusted by the sight of natural vegetables. If you serve your kids vegetables make sure you dice them into a muffin or otherwise hide them from your children.
  8. If your kids misbehave do not allow them to have ice-cream. If your kids behave, give them as much ice cream as they can handle. Praise = Food, bad behavior = no food. (This is a key habit to establish obesity throughout life, so be sure to do this one!!)
  9. Promise your child that if he eats some plain unseasoned vegetables you are offering him that he will get to eat a large cookie as a reward.
  10. Make sure to always serve your children’s vegetables as a soggy pile of unseasoned steamed vegetables. We do not want them to associate eating healthy food with enjoyment. Make sure it is viewed as a chore with a sugary treat as a reward.
  11. If your child refuses to eat a new food, give up immediately and give him a hot dog. Obviously he is just picky and will never try new things. In the future only serve hot dogs.
  12. Avoid using forks, spoons, and knives until at least 16 years of age.
  13. Be overweight yourself. This sets a great example. If you are overweight, be sure not to establish any new habits that would reverse this. Your child might pick up on those.
  14. Establish a routine of television watching. Always drink Soda while doing this.
  15. Water is for losers: always give your child juice or soda.
  16. Skip breakfast completely. If you do end up eating breakfast only eat marshmallow based cereals.
  17. Do not limit your child’s access to video game consoles
  18. With rising skin cancer rates you can not afford to let your child play outside, instead rent some movies for them.
  19. How annoying is it when your kid wants to help you when you are trying to get stuff done!? If your child wants to help you with projects around the house or the yard it is probably because they have watched all the DVDs you have. Consider netflix streaming, or possibly go to redbox and get more DVDs.
  20. Once you start noticing your child is fat, put them on a low calorie diet and tell them they can not have *ANY* sweets until they hit weight loss goals. Establish a firm Yo-Yo diet template early.

This post is intended to be satire. This post will undoubtedly make a few people angry. Please understand that I do not live my life perfectly. I struggle with the same issues as most modern people. I’m not trying to put anyone down, I am trying to raise awareness through a bit of humor… so if you are mad after reading this LIGHTEN UP!!

I am a new father and am highly concerned with the rising rates of childhood obesity. It is my opinion that the loss of family dinner time and the kitchen as the center of the household are two causative factors here. We can blame school lunches or other factors, but the fact is you have control over your children and ultimately it is your fault if they are obese.

My Son is only 4 months old, so I understand that I haven’t experienced these challenges just yet. This list is a warning for myself as much or more than it is a chastisement of modern families.

Building a Mac Computer on the cheap. (Hackintosh Guide)

It may seem strange to write about building a custom hardware macintosh AKA “hacintosh” on a site about regaining traditional skills. I don’t see this mission as solely about learning these types of traditional skills. It is more about regaining a do-it-yourself mindset. That being said, I am also a cheap-wad 😀

You will read many forums “don’t build a hacintosh to save money…” They say this so that you can be more mindful of the level of technical expertise it requires to do a build, however I don’t think it is out of the grasp of the common person to undertake building a hackintosh for just this purpose (saving money). The hardest part of the entire process is putting together the hardware, as long as you read your instructions fully and review some online tutorials I am confident you can do it.

How did all this start? A friend of mine approached me and wanted advice on purchasing a new macintosh. I did some research and per usual was put off by the extremely high prices. My friend makes a modest living and only needs to run one program for his T-Shirt printing business. The software upgrade he required was no longer supported by the Power PC macintosh he had. He needed to get a new Mac with an Intel processor to run the software.

My second thought was to look for a used Mac Mini on eBay. Even here I was looking at around $600. It was then I decided to order the parts and build him a Hacintosh. My budget? $300. I decided if it didn’t work out I would accept the liability for the parts.

There are many valid ways to build a Hackintosh. In fact after having gone through this process I would say that I found a few ways that are easier than the path I chose and I might try those next time.

First of all I was inspired by this post on lifehacker:

My main issue is I didn’t want to spend $1000 dollars. I wanted to spend $300 dollars (A difference for $700 for the mathematically challenged :D)

I first started this project by researching the parts on http://wiki.osx86project.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page and selected some parts that would fit in my budget. If I had to do this over I would have probably used on of the 2 following methods, rather than the method I ended up using:

  1. I would have researched selecting parts from this list: Kakewalk Compatibility and using Kakewalk software to create a bootable installation image from Lion.
  2. I would have assembled a CustoMac build. CustoMacs are hardware builds you can follow. If you follow them exactly you can use the preconfigured software from TonyMac’s blog to install osX very easily. They have a CustoMac Mini with similar specs to the PC I assembled. Don’t bee fooled by the price tag he lists… my build is pretty much the same price as he lists the DVD burner, hard drive, and OS as “Other Components” in order to achieve the cheap price he lists.

Ok, having said all of that, the method I chose to use was the one outlined on the LifeHacker page. The first time I had the wrong DSDT file loaded for my motherboard until I figured out you had to flash the bios. This basically screwed up the video drivers to the point where I only had a black screen. I was forced to start over. What the??? Read on and you just might know what I am talking about by the end.

What follows is the guide I wish I had when I started this 5+ hour learning process of installing Mac OSX on my hardware.

Here are the parts I used:

Cost break down

Video $35
PSU $29
Video $35
Mobo $95
CPU $105
Ram $26

My Cost: $325 (didn’t quite hit my budget…)

$290 … oops! Math fail! Added the video card twice in the original post

Now to air an pet peeve… don’t you hate it when you see a headline for a DIY project how to build X for $(cheap price) but when you click through to read it you find out that the reason it is cheap is they just happened to find an arc welder in a dumpster or some other nonsense… In otherwords you realize they did it for cheap due to luck or other factors. In the spirit of that let us continue:

Case $20
DVD burner $20
Hard Drive $50 (depending on drive)
OS DVD $10 on ebay… or $30 for lion download (can’t use my method)

Total cost if you use all brand new parts: $425 $390.

Now having said that you should do whatever you can to scavenge parts. I would recommend using a new hard drive. My spare hard-drive was a new one which was not being used for any other projects. You can actually save a bit of money by buying a case that comes with a power supply HOWEVER working in the computer industry this is the main part I see failing on computers and I would advise you to buy a decent power supply even though it will cost you more

You will also need a USB thumb drive and an existing Windows PC to download some files. You will need windows to extract some files from a .exe file for the motherboard.

Now I had a copy of the 10.6 Snow Leopard Retail Upgrade DVD so this is what I used. It is possible to upgrade to lion, however since I already owned this software this guide uses that. It is possible to purchase the upgrade to Lion from the app store once you get your mac setup for $30. The process for upgrading to Lion is covered in more detail here: How to upgrade to Lion. Or you can use another method such as CustoMac or KakeWalk as I mentioned above (with different hardware)



  1. Assemble Your PC
  2. Download the F11 bios from the link above and extract it (by running the .exe file) onto the USB flash drive. Place the USB flash drive into your new PC
  3. Boot the computer and press the DEL key to enter your BIOS Settings
  4. In the bios settings there is an option to update the BIOS. Select that and select “from disc” and it should show your USB flash drive. Select the BIOs update file and apply it. Wait for your computer to reboot. This will not work from a burnt DVD or CD.. I tried it. You must use a USB flash drive
  5. Burn the iBoot ISO to a DVD or CD using software such as IMG Burn (this is what I used). Do not simply burn the file to a data disc. You need a program capable of creating a DVD/CD from a disc image. You need to “burn the image” (google it)
  6. Copy the remaining downloadable items to the USB flash drive
  7. Boot the computer and press the DEL key to enter your BIOS settings
    • Select the option to load the “optimized” defaults
    • Advanced Bios Features > Set first boot device to “CDROM”
    • Advanced Bios Features > Set second boot device to “Hard Disk”
    • Integrated Peripherals > SATA AHCI mode to “AHCI”
    • Power Management Setup > ACPI Suspend Type “S3(STR)
    • Power Management Setup > HPET Support “Enabled”
    • Power Management Setup > HPET Mode “64-bit mode”
  8. Insert your iBoot CD into your PC
  9. Save your Bios settings and allow your computer to reboot from the iBoot CD
  10. When iBoot loads eject iBoot and insert the Snow Leopard DVD. Wait for the DVD Drive light to stop blinking and then press F5
  11. At this point Snow Leopard will display an installation screen. At the top there is a Utilities menu.
    • Select “Disk Utility”
    • Select your hard-drive and format it to Mac OS Extended (Journaled)
    • Name your hard-drive whatever pleases you. I called mine “hackintosh”
  12. Proceed with the snow leopard installation as normal
  13. At the end of the setup you will get a success screen. (YAY!!) Remove the Snow Leopard DVD and insert iBoot. Now reboot the computer
  14. Once iBoot loads you will see your new installation as an option to start on the bootup screen. Select it
  15. You will be forced to watch some fancy “welcome to your mac” video. Sit back and enjoy it.
  16. Insert your USB flash drive
  17. Double Click the 10.6.8 Combo update to run it. At the end it will ask you to reboot DO NOT REBOOT!
  18. Copy the GA-H55M-UD2H F11.aml to your mac desktop and rename it to DSDT.aml
  19. Run MultiBeast by double clicking on it
    • Select UserDSDT
    • Select System Utilities
    • Expand System Utilities and de-select advanced permissions
    • Run MultiBeast (will take 1 or 2 minutes to run)
  20. Install the realtek drivers by double clicking on them
  21. Install the sound drivers by double clicking on them
  22. Remove iBoot from drive and reboot your new Hackintosh
  23. At this point you should be up and running, and if you are not… umm…. start reading forum posts at tonymac’s site and the good people there will help you 😉 http://www.tonymacx86.com/index.php

Edit: it’s worth pointing out that you will need a USB mouse, USB Keyboard, and VGA or DVI monitor